Soft, firm, or just right

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So you are getting remarried and moving in together.  Obviously you need a bed.  And let’s be honest – you are REALLY looking forward to getting some good use out of that bed!  But, you have never given too much thought to what kind of mattress the other person has or prefers.  To give yourselves a fresh start in the bedroom, you also want to get a new mattress.  This was us.

We start having the discussion – soft or hard.  The cartoons up above sadly illustrate our very big predicament.  Joya likes sleeping on concrete and I like sleeping on a bed of feathers.  What on earth are we going to do?

Keep on reading!

Do you interrupt your spouse?

This is a cute rendition of a spouse interrupting the other while discussing how they met and fell in love.

But…interrupting your spouse can get you in some hot water and even develop bad habits.  We recently went to a marriage conference that showed this video and when we thought hard about it, we realized that we interrupt each other occasionally – especially during conflicts.

We have seen some couples who have developed habits of interrupting the other when just talking casually about stories in the past or present.  The wife may be explaining a story and the husbands stops her and says something like “well it didn’t really happen like that, it actually was this.”

This is just another time when a spouse needs to dig deep inside for patience and let go of the need to be right.  And we aren’t suggesting it’s easy!

Keep on reading!

The little things show you care

I came home from work and was particularly thirsty.  I open the refrigerator and to my wonderful surprise there is a new flavored can of sparkling water – Strawberry Mango.

I am very particular about my soda water because I love tons of fizz.  I have found Schweppes to be the best.  And for about two years I stuck to black cherry and plain.  Until I met Joya and she helped me branch out a bit.

But the flavor of my favorite soda water isn’t the point here.  Keep on reading!

An apology goes a long way

How many of us long for a long, loving marriage and life?  It CAN be done.  It SHOULD be done.  At times it may seem impossible, but it’s at that point when we usually need patience and to dig deep inside.  Maybe think about this peaceful picture of an older couple overlooking the ocean.

It can be easy to get upset at our spouse.  Maybe he didn’t appreciate the time and effort she put into making a wonderful meal for the family after working all day.  Maybe she didn’t ask about his day after a long, hard day he had feeling unappreciated at his workplace.

Or perhaps it is worse.  You already had the big, blow up fight and you are thinking remarriage was a mistake.  DO NOT GO DOWN THAT ROAD!  Keep on reading!

Our Journey Begins

Thanks for joining us!  This is going to be a very unique blog.  Where to start?  Well, in short, we were each divorced…about 4 years after our divorces we fell in love…and we decided to get remarried.

As with most everyone who falls in love we thought it would all work out well because we have so much love for each other and we have God leading the way.  We started reading books in preparation and we immediately got discouraged.  Most resources out there for couples getting remarried are not what you would call positive.  The pitfalls were endless and we figured that it simply couldn’t be as bad as the books illustrated.  Whoa – were we wrong.

We had the most magical wedding imaginable on August 26, 2017.  From that point forward nearly every day was a struggle.  We have four kids in total (Michael has three and Joya has one).  We each have an ex-spouse.  We all moved into a new house together.  And on August 27, six people started a new family, living together having never done so before.  We tried to prepare, but quite honestly, nothing can prepare a remarried couple and blended family until you all go through it together.

We have chosen to share our journey publicly, to present our challenges and to open ourselves up in an effort to help others.  We will provide real-time sharing with other remarried couples and blended families.  Why?  Because divorce isn’t an option for us and we don’t want it to be an option for others.  We love each other deeply and we are committed to make it work – as the vows say – for better or worse.  Hopefully, together, we all help each other.

**We are the furthest thing from experts.  What we are is a couple who struggles like everyone else in marriage, remarriage, and in blended families – and we wished there was a resource like this before we got married and as we struggle through our first year.  There isn’t – so we are creating it!**

Please know this – we are EXCITED about our marriage and new blended family and we WANT to help you in yours.  We hope this is helpful to you and look forward to connecting.

“A good marriage is a contest of generosity.” — Diane Sawyer

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